Lessons Learned

Okay, so a LOT has happened in the past few weeks. For starters, my ex and I sort of started talking again, and I guess for all intents and purposes, we had a "thing" going for the last 2 weeks. She would come to my dorm and hang out and, well, we always seemed to end up wrapped in each other's arms. Well, last Wednesday, during spring break, I was hanging out at a friend's house after church, and she (my ex) texted me and told me that it would be nice if I was waiting by her car when she got off work, so I agreed and met her when she got off work. She met me at her car with a hug and a kiss, and informed me that she had no plans and didn't have to be home anytime soon, so I suggested we return to my dorm to watch a movie. We got to my dorm, picked a movie, and sat on the bed to watch (BAD IDEA!!). Well, as always, we ended up being more interested in each other than the movie, and before I knew it, we got further than I had ever planned, however, we drew the line and ended it before it we could go past the point of no return. Well, somewhere amongst the happenings of that evening, she asked me if I was going to regret what we did in the morning, and being in the moment, I said "No." Well, the next day, I went to hang out with her some before she left for Athens for the weekend, and again, we spent most of the afternoon wrapped around each other, but we didn't go as far as we had gone the night before. So she left later that afternoon and spent the weekend in Athens. We texted back and forth, telling each other how much we missed the other, and I asked her what we were now, and she replied that she would rather discuss that face-to-face, so when she got back in town Sunday afternoon, we decided to hang out again. After spending a few minutes glued to each other, she broke away and told me that she didn't think we should date. She told me that she was sure there was someone out there better for me than her, and so I just said okay and she left. Well, I went to Bible study that night, and spent the whole time thinking about what had happened the past 2 weeks between me and her. That's when it hit me, what I had done was wrong. Yeah, I had realized it at the time it was all happening, but I had chosen to remain oblivious to my conscience. I realized how messed up my life had been the last month or so, and then remembered that it had been some time since I had spent any time at all alone with God and the Word. Man....life's a wreck when you don't include God in your every day routine. This hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized how thankful I was that my ex had drawn the line the previous Wednesday and in our relationship in general. When I came to the realization that my walk with God was NOT where it should have been, I made a vow to not date anyone (or even consider dating anyone) unless I was absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt, 110% sure that she was the right girl and that she was firm in her walk with God, and of course, we had prayed fervently about it. Later that evening, I planned on sending her a message telling her how I felt and how thankful I was that she had ended whatever we had, and when I got home, she had already sent me a message telling me what she had done, and how she had already broken her "No Men in 2010" rule, and how I had been the one guy she had always said she wasn't going to do anything at all with and how bad she felt. I told her not to worry about it, I was just as guilty as she and all we needed to do was steer clear of each other for a while. So, everything seemed fine until last night. While I was walking/jogging with one of my best friends and telling what all had happened in the past few weeks, we had to stop for a bathroom break and I checked my phone in my car, where I had a missed call from my ex. I called her and she said that she needed to really talk to me. I texted her when I finished jogging and asked her what she wanted to talk about, she told me to check Facebook, and so I did. She had written me a message telling me how crazy she was about me and how much she wanted to be with me. For about half a second, I almost fell for it, but then the words of my friends and the words I had spoken to myself came back and I told her that I really didn't need to date anyone right now. She told me that she respected that, and we decided to part ways. So now that all of that's over, I've learned what NOT to do, and I want to ask each and every one of you to give me a big smack across the back of my head next time you see me start to move into a similar relationship. That is all. Thank you.

Stardate 63668.1

Well..it's been a while since I've blogged. Although I've done a fair share of vlogging, I thought it was high time for a written one. Currently I am about a quarter of the way through spring break and am enjoying it so far. I have been a bum all weekend and am continuing that tradition today. I went home this past weekend and spent a lot of quality time in my happy place (namely, Blackbird Coffee). I woke up at the crack of noon today and now am just sitting here writing this, drinking coffee, listening to music, and Facebooking. I'm going to see Alice in Wonderland tonight with my best friend in the entire world!! I'm really excited. I regret to say that I've missed 3 days of p90, but I plan to jump back on the ball tomorrow. I am also going to be returning to HOP on Wednesday nights, which I'm excited about. I've missed my HOP family. Nothing's wrong with Journey, but I had a discussion with Bryan this past Friday, and in short, he doesn't feel I'm ready to be a youth leader at this moment in time, so he wants me just to take a break. I'm a little upset, but his reasoning is sound, so I agreed. Well, that's all I have at this moment. This is Captain James D. Souter, signing off.

My Problem With Valentine's Day

Okay, let me start by stating firmly that I don't absolutely HATE Valentine's Day. It's a nice day to remind that special someone of how much you love them (truth be told, we should remind them daily), but anyway, it's a nice reminder. And let's be honest, without today, the country's chocolate and flower industry would more than likely go under. You could probably say I don't like Valentine's Day because I've never had a "Valentine" so I've never really celebrated it. Well, that's true. I've never had someone to call my "Valentine" and therefore I've never really celebrated the holiday, except when I was in elementary school when everybody in the class made their own little bag or box and then passed out Valentines to everybody. Other than that, I've never really had someone to spend money for chocolate and flowers on. And while it is a very nice feeling knowing that I get to save at least $40 this year, I do regret a little bit not being able to do that for someone. I mean, I love lots of people. I love my family and friends, but when you're my age, you generally (or at least from what I've seen) buy gifts for someone that is your "significant other", and well, I don't have a "significant other", which, since we're on the subject, I'm kinda alright with that. I know God's got someone out there for me, and I know I should be patient and pray, but if you know me at all, you know that I'm not the most patient person in the world (I'm working on it, I promise!), and I just sometimes wish that God would just put a neon sign over that "someone" so she'd be easier to find. Anyway, back to what I was originally talking about, I don't hate Valentine's Day, I just really dislike it because for myself and some other singles, it's just a lovely reminder of how "alone" we are. But don't let us cynical singles deter you couples from having a lovely Valentine's Day, we're just gonna go over here and have ourselves a Single's Awareness party.

Here's another year!

Another year has gone by? Seriously? Man..where did it go? It only seems like yesterday we were celebrating the beginning of 2009! I think the years are getting faster and faster. Well, I guess it's time I reflect over the past year. 2009 was the year I decided to start playing guitar and I have absolutely loved it. 2009 was also the year I had my first serious relationship with a girl, and while it didn't work out, I learned from it and I am now determined not to date again unless I am certain that the girl has the potential to be my future wife. That's about all I have to reflect on, so now, as with every new year, I have some resolutions to make. This year, 2010, I resolve to...

1. Spend time with my Creator every day.

2. Cut back on my intake of sweets and soda.

3. Exercise on a daily basis.

4. Stay caught up with my schoolwork.

5. Not date a girl unless I'm absolutely certain that she has the potential to be my wife.

6. Not judge someone before I've gotten to know them.

7. Be a better friend.

This Year I'm Thankful For...

Well, another year has almost gone by, and since yesterday was Thanksgiving, I thought that I would make a list of the things that I'm thankful for. So here it goes!

I am thankful for...

- God Almighty who has blessed me with so much and given me so much even though I deserve none of it
- my loving family, who support me, put a roof over my head, feed me, and correct me when I'm wrong.
- the amazing friends God has placed in my life
- the hard times God's put me through and continues to put me through so that my faith can be made stronger
- the fact that I'm still alive and in pretty decent condition
- being placed in Tifton, I feel at home here
- my Tifton "families", especially the Smiths. I love you guys and am thankful for everything you do for me.
- my musical abilities
- my best friends (you guys know who you are) who make fun of me, love me, support me, endure my stupid moments, and listen to me and my problems.
- coffee, which I know sounds silly, but coffee has become a wonderful and delicious part of my life
- music, which if you know me, is a huge part of my life. I love it.
- the amazing life that I have!!

Life At The Moment

Ok, so I haven't actually written anything in a loooooooooong time, and to be honest, quite a bit has happened since school started back. Most of my classes are going well, I dropped my piano class today cause I just couldn't find time to practice and to be frank, I just downright hated the class. When I signed up for it, I was under the impression that it would be fairly easy. Pssssh....was I mistaken. The teacher wasn't the best either...'nuff said. I played and sang in the ABAC's Got Talent show tonight, and of course, as Murphy's Law goes, if it can go wrong, it will go wrong. I woke up this morning with a stopped up nose and my voice was hoarse....so I don't think I did as well as I could have. Oh well, there's always next year. In other news, I met one of the most amazing girls I've ever met (well, to be honest, I met her over the summer, but we hadn't really communicated until a few weeks ago, and I'm glad we did!) And to close this blog, here's what I learned last week:

• Washed By the Water is the greatest song to wake up to
• Besides Jesus, coffee is the best way to wake up in the morning
• Why did the last 20 years fly by so fast?
• I have no idea what I'm doing with my life after ABAC
• I love open mic night at Lion Chasers
• Skyping with five people at the same time can be a lot of fun
  

Mini Update

Aaah!! I am officially in love with Skillet (especially the drummer!)

School has been going well so far. My piano class sucks because I have the devil for a teacher. But other than that, most of my classes are going well (well...maybe not Bio), but everything else is good. I've been posting videos of my guitar/singing skills on Youtube every Tuesday, and I would appreciate it if you would check it out, my channel name is: saltymusic2911. Buuuuuut, that's all I can think of for now.