Hitting the Wall

Well, I hadn't really dealt with any sort of homesickness all summer up until about now. I had a couple of rough days last week, and on top of that, my roommate is leaving tomorrow, and these last few weeks of the summer seem to be dragging by with the absence of Fuge. Don't get me wrong, it's been a great summer. I've learned a lot and grown a lot, but I just feel like I'm ready to move back home and see all of my friends in Tifton and get back into a consistent routine. I was also looking at pictures from this year's WBA Youth camp and it made me sad that I wasn't there. On top of that, I really miss a bunch of my friends that I worked at Frontier with. I know that I'm here to serve and to be a light, and I am more than willing to do my job and to be a witness to the guests that come through this campus, but I'm also really looking forward to getting back and seeing everyone. Phone calls and text messages just aren't the same as sitting by a person and holding their hand or embracing them in a hug. So, while I am looking forward to serving these next three and a half weeks, I'm also praying that they pass quickly. Please pray that I have the strength I need to make it through the remainder of my summer.

And now...here's an update!

Well...to say the least, I have been severely slacking in keeping you good people updated on the goings-on here in fabulous Glorieta, NM. Things have been going well so far. I'm staying exhausted and busy all the time, but I'm loving every minute of it! We are currently in our fifth week of Fuge camps and I can hardly believe that there are only five more weeks until I return back to the hot and humid state of Georgia! This summer has been an amazing one so far and continues to be so! I am learning a lot both for my job and also spiritually! God has truly blessed me this summer with an amazing rec staff to work with and just summer staff in general (the Fuge staff has been pretty amazing as well). I'm extremely blessed to have such an awesome roommate. Being assigned to the same room was definitely a God thing because we have so much in common and are able to help build each other up. Well that's about all I have for now! Be on the lookout for another update!

Prayer Request

Okay, so I know the reason I'm out here at Glorieta to serve God and to witness to the guests that I come into contact with, but part of me is really hoping that I'll find "the one". Well, to say that there are several beautiful girls on summer staff would be an understatement, but there's one in particular that has caught my interest. She's beautiful, charming, sweet, amazing, funny, and above all, Godly. The thing is, it seems to me that she's interested in another summer staffer and it kinda bothers me. I mean, I don't know for sure if she's interested in him or if she's just being herself, but either way it bothers me. I know that it shouldn't bother me and I know that I shouldn't be so focused on her, but I really like her and being around her always makes me happy. Her smile is dazzling, her laugh is infectious, and I could easily get lost in her eyes. Anyway, please pray that I don't lose my focus on the reason I'm out here, but also pray that I don't do anything irrational and that if I choose to pursue anything that it's for God's glory. Thanks to you all!

SOLI DEO GLORIA

Lessons Learned

Okay, so a LOT has happened in the past few weeks. For starters, my ex and I sort of started talking again, and I guess for all intents and purposes, we had a "thing" going for the last 2 weeks. She would come to my dorm and hang out and, well, we always seemed to end up wrapped in each other's arms. Well, last Wednesday, during spring break, I was hanging out at a friend's house after church, and she (my ex) texted me and told me that it would be nice if I was waiting by her car when she got off work, so I agreed and met her when she got off work. She met me at her car with a hug and a kiss, and informed me that she had no plans and didn't have to be home anytime soon, so I suggested we return to my dorm to watch a movie. We got to my dorm, picked a movie, and sat on the bed to watch (BAD IDEA!!). Well, as always, we ended up being more interested in each other than the movie, and before I knew it, we got further than I had ever planned, however, we drew the line and ended it before it we could go past the point of no return. Well, somewhere amongst the happenings of that evening, she asked me if I was going to regret what we did in the morning, and being in the moment, I said "No." Well, the next day, I went to hang out with her some before she left for Athens for the weekend, and again, we spent most of the afternoon wrapped around each other, but we didn't go as far as we had gone the night before. So she left later that afternoon and spent the weekend in Athens. We texted back and forth, telling each other how much we missed the other, and I asked her what we were now, and she replied that she would rather discuss that face-to-face, so when she got back in town Sunday afternoon, we decided to hang out again. After spending a few minutes glued to each other, she broke away and told me that she didn't think we should date. She told me that she was sure there was someone out there better for me than her, and so I just said okay and she left. Well, I went to Bible study that night, and spent the whole time thinking about what had happened the past 2 weeks between me and her. That's when it hit me, what I had done was wrong. Yeah, I had realized it at the time it was all happening, but I had chosen to remain oblivious to my conscience. I realized how messed up my life had been the last month or so, and then remembered that it had been some time since I had spent any time at all alone with God and the Word. Man....life's a wreck when you don't include God in your every day routine. This hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized how thankful I was that my ex had drawn the line the previous Wednesday and in our relationship in general. When I came to the realization that my walk with God was NOT where it should have been, I made a vow to not date anyone (or even consider dating anyone) unless I was absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt, 110% sure that she was the right girl and that she was firm in her walk with God, and of course, we had prayed fervently about it. Later that evening, I planned on sending her a message telling her how I felt and how thankful I was that she had ended whatever we had, and when I got home, she had already sent me a message telling me what she had done, and how she had already broken her "No Men in 2010" rule, and how I had been the one guy she had always said she wasn't going to do anything at all with and how bad she felt. I told her not to worry about it, I was just as guilty as she and all we needed to do was steer clear of each other for a while. So, everything seemed fine until last night. While I was walking/jogging with one of my best friends and telling what all had happened in the past few weeks, we had to stop for a bathroom break and I checked my phone in my car, where I had a missed call from my ex. I called her and she said that she needed to really talk to me. I texted her when I finished jogging and asked her what she wanted to talk about, she told me to check Facebook, and so I did. She had written me a message telling me how crazy she was about me and how much she wanted to be with me. For about half a second, I almost fell for it, but then the words of my friends and the words I had spoken to myself came back and I told her that I really didn't need to date anyone right now. She told me that she respected that, and we decided to part ways. So now that all of that's over, I've learned what NOT to do, and I want to ask each and every one of you to give me a big smack across the back of my head next time you see me start to move into a similar relationship. That is all. Thank you.

Stardate 63668.1

Well..it's been a while since I've blogged. Although I've done a fair share of vlogging, I thought it was high time for a written one. Currently I am about a quarter of the way through spring break and am enjoying it so far. I have been a bum all weekend and am continuing that tradition today. I went home this past weekend and spent a lot of quality time in my happy place (namely, Blackbird Coffee). I woke up at the crack of noon today and now am just sitting here writing this, drinking coffee, listening to music, and Facebooking. I'm going to see Alice in Wonderland tonight with my best friend in the entire world!! I'm really excited. I regret to say that I've missed 3 days of p90, but I plan to jump back on the ball tomorrow. I am also going to be returning to HOP on Wednesday nights, which I'm excited about. I've missed my HOP family. Nothing's wrong with Journey, but I had a discussion with Bryan this past Friday, and in short, he doesn't feel I'm ready to be a youth leader at this moment in time, so he wants me just to take a break. I'm a little upset, but his reasoning is sound, so I agreed. Well, that's all I have at this moment. This is Captain James D. Souter, signing off.

My Problem With Valentine's Day

Okay, let me start by stating firmly that I don't absolutely HATE Valentine's Day. It's a nice day to remind that special someone of how much you love them (truth be told, we should remind them daily), but anyway, it's a nice reminder. And let's be honest, without today, the country's chocolate and flower industry would more than likely go under. You could probably say I don't like Valentine's Day because I've never had a "Valentine" so I've never really celebrated it. Well, that's true. I've never had someone to call my "Valentine" and therefore I've never really celebrated the holiday, except when I was in elementary school when everybody in the class made their own little bag or box and then passed out Valentines to everybody. Other than that, I've never really had someone to spend money for chocolate and flowers on. And while it is a very nice feeling knowing that I get to save at least $40 this year, I do regret a little bit not being able to do that for someone. I mean, I love lots of people. I love my family and friends, but when you're my age, you generally (or at least from what I've seen) buy gifts for someone that is your "significant other", and well, I don't have a "significant other", which, since we're on the subject, I'm kinda alright with that. I know God's got someone out there for me, and I know I should be patient and pray, but if you know me at all, you know that I'm not the most patient person in the world (I'm working on it, I promise!), and I just sometimes wish that God would just put a neon sign over that "someone" so she'd be easier to find. Anyway, back to what I was originally talking about, I don't hate Valentine's Day, I just really dislike it because for myself and some other singles, it's just a lovely reminder of how "alone" we are. But don't let us cynical singles deter you couples from having a lovely Valentine's Day, we're just gonna go over here and have ourselves a Single's Awareness party.

Here's another year!

Another year has gone by? Seriously? Man..where did it go? It only seems like yesterday we were celebrating the beginning of 2009! I think the years are getting faster and faster. Well, I guess it's time I reflect over the past year. 2009 was the year I decided to start playing guitar and I have absolutely loved it. 2009 was also the year I had my first serious relationship with a girl, and while it didn't work out, I learned from it and I am now determined not to date again unless I am certain that the girl has the potential to be my future wife. That's about all I have to reflect on, so now, as with every new year, I have some resolutions to make. This year, 2010, I resolve to...

1. Spend time with my Creator every day.

2. Cut back on my intake of sweets and soda.

3. Exercise on a daily basis.

4. Stay caught up with my schoolwork.

5. Not date a girl unless I'm absolutely certain that she has the potential to be my wife.

6. Not judge someone before I've gotten to know them.

7. Be a better friend.